This song I like it. Another!

I can feel my deadline for NaNo catching up to me. And I really don't I am going to be finished with this story by June 7th. I didn't actually think I would. There was just too much other stuff I had to do. Like applying for a job. (Have I mentioned this? I think I have. Well I am hoping to do a check-up tomorrow or Tuesday. PLEASE PRAY I GET HIRED!!!!!) Also... I've missed a few days because we did family things like picnics and having a sleepover which involved running around a deserted park at eight o'clock at night, playing tag and screaming all sorts of random things at the top of our voices because the echo back was so cool. (TARDIS!!!!) And then there was the nights that I just could not write. I opened the computer and just.... stared.



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This is how its been the past week. Though usually I am able to force out a at least a little something.  There was only one night when I didn't write anything period. I tried. I did. But my brain felt like soggy newspaper and I wrote the same sentence like ten times and deleted it each time. I had no oomph, no inspiration and I think I was just burnt out. I was tired. I hadn't been sleeping well for most of the week and I think I killed a couple brain cells doing too much math. I just couldn't. Of course none of my characters have been very understanding. They're pretty angry I've been neglecting them these last few days, especially considering our deadline. They don't like me being lazy. And basically the wont leave me alone.

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WRITE FOR US!

  I'm trying to do math!

WRITE FOR US!

I'M TRYING TO MAKE DINNER!

WRITE FOR US!!

I'm trying to make cookies!

WRITE FOR US!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am trying to cope with Bucky feels, leave me ALONE!!!

 

Write
 

Look. I have things to DO. Understand? (like chores and school?? HELLO??) the last thing I need is an angry mob of characters. They keep me up at night too. They wont stop talking to me. Giving me scenes to write. Like, seriously?? Its 1:00 in the MORNING! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU???

 

WRITE
WRITE

WRITE

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They finally poked me hard enough that I've written today. I'm still writing. Tyson is very pleased. Maybe I'll make him cut himself with his silly sword. then he'll see. 

I don't think this month has been a loss either though. I have done more writing this month than I have done in a very long time. I know where I am at and where I'm going. I have written some hard chapters and cried over some hard scenes. I've made myself write and that is a big step for me. because writing is such a delicate subject for me. And For the longest time I didn't think I was a writer. And I didn't want to write. So this had been a really good thing for me. And I would like to thank all those lovely people who commented encouragingly on my snippets and made me feel special. That was very kind of you and they really made my day. I think I've made some real progress and I'm optimistic. And I wont stop writing just because May is over. I am going to finish this book, dang it, if only for my buddy Jim who has been so patient waiting for me to get my act together and poking me friendly-like to help me along. (Thank you, buddy. You are brilliant.) I will try and post another snippet before the 7th. I promise. *hugs*

Also there is a little upside all this writing and hassle has had. I've discovered two new songs. They are the songs I listen to when I'm feeling especially depressed while writing and need spark. Well... I have an assortment, but these two are my Go-to songs. I plug my headphones in and listen to them on full blast, slowly kill myself with the lyrics. For some reason sad music helps with writing pain.

 

Seriously. The lyrics to this song are so sad and so unique. They makes me ache inside. Especially when it says, You build me up and then I fall apart. For some reason that line really affects me. It makes me think of tragedy and loss and betrayal. And it hurts but it helps. Especially with Tyson. I think Tyson ... Tyson has really grown on me. I think I might love him. And the that line, it reminds me a lot of him.
 

I can Fake a Smile. I can force a laugh.

I can dance and play the part if that's what you ask

Give you all I am
 



and for some reason, this quote feels very much like Tyson and Peregrine. I actually think part two of my book is going to be more greatly focused on then the others. Especially because of the... something that happens at the end of the book. Tyson has become quite an interesting character all around and the more I learn about him the worse I feel for him. I want to hug him and make all the pain go away.

 

But I'm only human.

And I bleed when I fall down

I'm only human

and I crash and I break down! 

 

This ... THIS. This is like, EVERY ONE of my characters. Especially Peregrine and Annie. That line of lyrics, it makes me think of so many characters, so many broken souls. And I almost feel ashamed to be putting my own characters in the same category as Bucky or Sam or Dean or Arthur. But I can't help it. Its a very Peregrine line, Okay?? The poor kid has too much on his shoulders. I actually think part two of my book is going to be better. Now that I've really set up something and I know what I want. Hehehe. Here I am, talking about part two and part one isn't even done yet. 

 

 

This is how I encouraged myself. "Tolkien made it. It took him fourteen years but he made it! I've only been writing - really writing - a month. I CAN MAKE IT!!!!

 

I laughed and then I cried.

 

 

That brings me to the other song which has helped inspire writing. Its called Mercy by Hurts. This song.... Okay. It is a little weird. I will be the first to admit that. It is definitely an acquired taste. The first time I heard it I wasn't wildly keen on it. It was too loud and too much. But slowly it started growing on me and I got to like it a lot. And  then I saw it to Sam and Dean.... and I sort of have been listening to it on repeat ever since. I especially like the M! E! R! C! Y!!!! Bit. It invigorates me! Yes. I am a freak. Do not Judge.

 

I liked it so much I made a multifandom video to it. Watch it. Its very good. But it does have spoilers from... everything. Just FYI. If you like it the subscribe button is always nice. I like that button :)

 

 

 

And with that I am off! I have a friend over and we are going to have Pizza and watching something and I need to get off. God bless and have a wonderful night!!

 

*Slides of car*

 

 

~Ben-The-Robot~

Its the little things

Because it's Lent we try not to watch too many movies and TV shows. In fact we kind of go off them cold turkey. So during this Lent we though that it might be fun to listen to Musicals during the week instead of having our evening movie. It seemed like a grand plan. Now, lately I have had a fierce craving for muffins. Hot, moist Poppy-seed Muffins. They were all I could think about. So I got all 'in the mood' and decided that the night we listened to "Secret Garden" I would make those muffins and we would feast! Of course that would mean skipping Lunch, but it would be worth it. I NEEDED Muffins. I proposed my plan to the family. My sisters (wonderful people that they are) were very good sports and went hungry for the muffins I'd be making that night. They all did it. For me. This meant my muffins had be the stuff of LEGEND!

Now. If you remember I have a past with baking. I don't. Its not that I don't like to - I do! baking, cooking, anything to do with food is good!! but my baking expeditions never work out. Which meant I was super nervous about these muffins. They needed to just right. They couldn't burn. they couldn't fall flat. they couldn't taste like biscuits. They couldn't turn out like those poor abused cookies I had once tried to serve. They needed to be proper muffins that melted in your mouth. Nothing else would satisfy my craving. The whole time I was stirring and sifting I anxiously wondered if skipping lunch would be worth it. I would hate to have given up my lunch for nothing. I stirred. I sifted. I dropped little spoonfuls into the muffin pans. I slipped them into the oven.

 They were perfect. I was so, so happy! They were all a muffin should be: Firm but not crumbly, moist but not too doughy or soft. Perfect. It was doubly amazing because I had a very narrow escape with them. I stuck them in for an hour. That is what the recipe said to do. I was feeling all efficient and hopeful when a sister's voice from the kitchen called out, "BELLA!!!! GET OUT HERE AND CHECK YOU'RE MUFFINS!!" Out I rushed, fully expecting to find charcoal in a cup and thinking to myself in a panic, "its only been thirty minutes!!" But see, I had made a recipe for bread. Muffins only need half an hour to cook. I was informed this by a helpful older sister as I slid into the kitchen. Funny how she didn't mention it sooner seeing as she was the one who had given me the recipe!! How was I suppose to know it was bread? I whipped the oven door open and.....

Look at them!!! They look like the type of muffins that you would see displayed in a cook book!! They were amazing!!!

Happiness!!!

Quickly I piled two plates high with golden, poppy-seed goodness and, feeling quite happy with the world, carried my prize into the living room. They were warmly welcomed. We brought out the CD player. We stuck in "Secret Garden." We let the feasting began.

I am pleased to say, the muffins tasted as luscious as they looked. That has never happened for me before! Nothing I make tastes that lovely! I was so happy! They only thing needed to complete the evening was tea. Since I have given up tea I contented myself with boiling water. It wasn't quite fulfilling, but the muffins made up for the lack of British flair in my evening.

Oh hot water, how I love you!

It ended by a really fun night, even though there were a couple moments when conversation interrupted our long-awaited musical. But I suppose that's to be expected when one is having a feast. We did lots of singing, especially when the music crescendo-ed and many characters began singing at once. Don't you love those moments?

There. I just really wanted to share that all with you. It was so much fun and I want to do it again before Lent is over. I know I'm gonna try those muffins again at least. Maybe for breakfast this time. Ooooh! How yummy would that be! I would have to get up pretty early though. Hmmmmm. Is it worth it?

ONE MORE THING!!! 

I make freakin' awesome music videos. 

Even with crummy video makers. Subscribe to me!!

(many thanks to my sister Tiny who helped make this video the awesomness it is)

God Bless!
~Bella