Looking back

I've been thinking a lot about last year. 2014. The rollercoaster of months that screamed together into one long blur of color and wild insanity. It was.... something else, and that's an understatement. I didn't do a New Year's Post this year because I literally had no idea how to approach my feelings on last year. Still, it's been on my mind what with it being the month of January and having my Birthday and Epiphany and everything. And I scribbled something out on paper and I decided I could share it with you, if nothing else, to share with you what my 2014 was like. Because.... Sometimes bad things happen. Really bad things. And sometimes good things happen. And sometimes there are little pockets of perfection and sometimes nothing works and you want to throw an appalling tantrum like you're back to being two and not getting your own way. (Yeeeees. This feeling overcomes be pretty often.) Life is complicated. And stupid. And wonderful. And so, so frustrating.

What it comes down to is this. I wrote a song that kind of sums up everything that happened last year. (I know. So original, right?) I don't know exactly how it flows yet. I don't know if it will ever be a finished or revised. I just know what it means to me. And I hope you like it. Take not that it isn't actually finished yet. It's a working progress.

It happened So Fast

Like a montage on the silver screen

WE stood on the end, then it was the beginning

And we held our breath, and we let it go

And we did it again. 

And again. 

It was a blurr of color, the past

it was a taste of wild insanity 

and words we can't take back. 

And when it was over and all the dust settled

All that was left was screaming silence

Refrain: 

Because it started out so right

And it ended up so wrong

Everything was working, then everything fell apart

And we all we had were good intentions so how did it go so bad? 

With all our best intentions, we carved the word sad

Dead Calm. Have you ever heard dead calm?

It's that quiet that only comes after a break. 

And we broke! How we broke!

The Calm was overwhelming

The words unspoken left us drowning

And when all sound was finished

And the anger was left raw

Were were left with one emotion

Dead calm.

Maybe bridge?

Some things have been mended too many times

some things are beyond fixing, their cracks go to deep

but if the walls could come down and let the light in 

maybe we would have a chance

just a little chance

if you'd let me in.

Just let me in. 

One more time.

Can we just try one more time?

Refrain. 

(Ending Verse?)

Just a little chance

if you'd let me in.

Just let me in. 

One more time.

Would it be so hard, to try one more time

Wouldn't it be worth it....

wouldn't it be worth it?

I'm still working on lyrics and I have a verse I'm trying to add in but this is what I have so far. So.... What do you think? Do you think its good? Great? Wonderful? You likey??? WELL?? DO YA?? 

Dory

Guys I am sooooo tired right now. I have to get off and read or something. Before I do though, I have a question. How many of you actually want copies of my books, and how would you feel about an auction? THIS SCARES ME TO ASK! REALLY SCARES ME! But if I know people like it enough maybe I can try marketing/publishing. THAT SCARES ME TO SAY TOO. 

source

This post is falling apart. 

I should go. 

I will hopefully post a new snippet tomorrow. 

I hope you liked my lyrics. 

PEACE OUT Y'ALL!!!

*slides off car*

Bella