Friday, January 16, 2015

Looking back

I've been thinking a lot about last year. 2014. The rollercoaster of months that screamed together into one long blur of color and wild insanity. It was.... something else, and that's an understatement. I didn't do a New Year's Post this year because I literally had no idea how to approach my feelings on last year. Still, it's been on my mind what with it being the month of January and having my Birthday and Epiphany and everything. And I scribbled something out on paper and I decided I could share it with you, if nothing else, to share with you what my 2014 was like. Because.... Sometimes bad things happen. Really bad things. And sometimes good things happen. And sometimes there are little pockets of perfection and sometimes nothing works and you want to throw an appalling tantrum like you're back to being two and not getting your own way. (Yeeeees. This feeling overcomes be pretty often.) Life is complicated. And stupid. And wonderful. And so, so frustrating.

What it comes down to is this. I wrote a song that kind of sums up everything that happened last year. (I know. So original, right?) I don't know exactly how it flows yet. I don't know if it will ever be a finished or revised. I just know what it means to me. And I hope you like it. Take not that it isn't actually finished yet. It's a working progress.

It happened So Fast
Like a montage on the silver screen
WE stood on the end, then it was the beginning
And we held our breath, and we let it go
And we did it again. 
And again. 

It was a blurr of color, the past
it was a taste of wild insanity 
and words we can't take back. 
And when it was over and all the dust settled
All that was left was screaming silence


Because it started out so right
And it ended up so wrong
Everything was working, then everything fell apart
And we all we had were good intentions so how did it go so bad? 
With all our best intentions, we carved the word sad

Dead Calm. Have you ever heard dead calm?
It's that quiet that only comes after a break. 
And we broke! How we broke!
The Calm was overwhelming
The words unspoken left us drowning
And when all sound was finished
And the anger was left raw
Were were left with one emotion
Dead calm.

Maybe bridge?

Some things have been mended too many times
some things are beyond fixing, their cracks go to deep

but if the walls could come down and let the light in 
maybe we would have a chance
just a little chance
if you'd let me in.
Just let me in. 
One more time.
Can we just try one more time?


(Ending Verse?)

Just a little chance
if you'd let me in.
Just let me in. 
One more time.
Would it be so hard, to try one more time
Wouldn't it be worth it....
wouldn't it be worth it?

I'm still working on lyrics and I have a verse I'm trying to add in but this is what I have so far. So.... What do you think? Do you think its good? Great? Wonderful? You likey??? WELL?? DO YA?? 


Guys I am sooooo tired right now. I have to get off and read or something. Before I do though, I have a question. How many of you actually want copies of my books, and how would you feel about an auction? THIS SCARES ME TO ASK! REALLY SCARES ME! But if I know people like it enough maybe I can try marketing/publishing. THAT SCARES ME TO SAY TOO. 


This post is falling apart. 

I should go. 

I will hopefully post a new snippet tomorrow. 

I hope you liked my lyrics. 


*slides off car*



  1. First of allllll....

    I loooooooooooove your lyrics. Especially the verse about Dead Calm. Wow. So good!!!

    And as for your question. *raises hand and jumps up and down* Oh me me me! I want copies of your books! I am not exactly sure what you mean by an auction, but sure!

    1. Oh, thank you! 8-) that's a big compliment from you, knowing how well you write songs. Lyrics are hard for me.

      Oh that's good 8-) I'm thinking of ... selling off like ten copies of my books. Maybe. I don't know. I have to figure out everything. I think we should do a a trade. You are an amazing writer.

    2. Whaaaaa??? Me a good songwriter??? I guess Treskie must have shown you my song! *blush* Thank you for the compliment, but I wouldn't say I'm a good songwriter. Lyrics are very hard!

      Woot woot! Sounds like a great idea! As for trade...*scream* BELLA THAT IS A FRIGHTENING THOUGHT. I have a terrible time trying to share my writing. I get so embarrassed! But, but, but, I have been trying to be less shy about sharing my writing and I REALLY want to read your writing so maybe it's a great idea.


      I might do BETA readers. I'm wondering how exactly to approach this. I might do a drawing for beta readers. You could be one. I'll figure it out. 8-)


  2. Bellie-bud. You lyrics are very good. We likes them muchly. *Sniffles*

    1. you are so sweet 8-) I thought they were pretty good. They're just kind of sad....


Oi, what are you.... Oh, you just want to comment? Then that's fine, please do! I love comments! but, um, I sort of stalk them.

Pile of good things

Pile of good things