Tuesday, September 30, 2014

I'm sick. And I didn't do my Tolkien post.


Last week was Tolkien week and I had every intention to write a whole post dedicated to Lord of the Rings and Tolkien in general. It was going to be glorious! Full of fangirl bliss!! Many gifs and feeeeeels!!! But now it's Tuesday. Tolkien week has slipped by and I did nothing. I suppose I do have an excuse. First, I got sick and I felt too tired and too cranky to write period. (not even in my stories) Second, I was trying to wait for the Tolkien Tag one of my sisters was working on. She didn't finish it in time and now I feel sad. I'm a terrible Tolkien-Girl. *hangs head* I still plan to do the Tolkien Tag once it is done but I really can't post tonight. I'm too tired and I feel funny and my head hurts.

I'm also suffering feels from several different books, one of which I've seen a spoiler to and now feel sick about finishing. It's going to hurt you guys. It's going to hurt bad.

OH AND I HATE ANTHONY HORWITZ. JUST FYI! HE HAS AN EVIL LITTLE MIND! Prepare yourselves, because I'm probably going to do a screaming post when I finish this series. I have a little more than two books left. There is so much pain to come. So. Much. Pain. I'm scared.

Why do I always get sick the minute I sign up for Singing class? Why can't it happen before or after? It's kind of hard to sing when you have a sore throat you guys. And I have a private lesson tomorrow. Yeah. *le sigh*

I'm actually excited, I love private lessons because I have the nicest singing teacher in the world, I swear. He is so sweet. And he is adorable and funny and he makes me laugh. He makes you WANT to sing, and somehow you don't feel afraid doing it for him: he's just so happy to see you. You don't want to disappoint him. I'm just sad I have to be sick for my first one. It makes me sad.

I''ll be back soon with a Tolkien Post! I swear!!! Until then - PEACE OUT Y'ALL!!

*slides off car*


Thursday, September 25, 2014

"Hear that? That's the Maze Changing."


A few weeks I saw The Maze Runner Trailer. And I remember thinking, "Oh yeah. That thing. That's a book." I'd seen it in the library, and I remembered wanting to check it out but never actually getting around to it. Either I didn't have my card or only book two was on the shelf or we were in and out too quickly to get anything. But then my friend checked out the first book and started shouting at me, so I ran to the library to check it out too. Unfortunately it wasn't there. I put in on hold but the hold list was really, really long. So it seemed I was in for a bit of a wait. Which sucks cause this trilogy had friendships and I WANTED it. Then the movie came out in theaters and my brother invited me out to see it with him and some of my sisters. The book still hadn't come in but I really wanted to see the movie so I decided just this once I could cheat and watch the movie before reading the book.

I took the invite.


Just in case, this might have some spoilers. So be careful reading okay? Okay. Good.

Thomas wakes up in a large glade filled with dozens of other boys, all sharing one thing in common. They all were sent up to The Glade in the metal box with no memories and no identity, The boys are sent up one after the other once a month, like clockwork. The only thing they are able too keep after waking is their name. Nothing else. Surrounding The Glade is the giant Maze, boxing the children in like a prison. The only way out of the Glade is through the Maze and it is unspeakably dangerous. It's patterns changes every night and it is infested with the creatures called Grievers. No one has ever faced one and lived to tell about it and those who get stung by one lose their mind and slowly die. It's quite awful. No one goes into the Maze except the Runners, two of the best boys who have taken it on themselves to run the maze by day and attempt to memorize its patterns and find a way out. Meanwhile in The Glade the boys have made a type of community. They grown their own food and make their own homes. The box coming up every month provides the supplies they can't grow or build themselves, like clothes and seeds and such like.

That is until Thomas. He is determined to find a way out of the Glade, even if it means becoming a Runner himself and risking the dangers of the Grievers to find his freedom. But the moment Thomas ventures into the Maze is the moment that everything changes. Suddenly the boys start getting attacked by Grievers during the day. The Maze is changing irregularly. Boys start getting hurt. And then a girl is sent up in the box instead of a boy with a note saying "She is the last one ever."

Very quickly after the dangers of the Maze escalate and getting out of The Glade and escaping becomes the top priority.

JUST WOW!!! Okay! Let me just say this. The whole movie can be summed up in four gifs.




The story doesn't take any time getting started. You are thrown into the action almost immediately and from the moment you hear, "Day one Greenie...." you are hooked. At first it is  a little disconcerting because The Glade seems so calm, so peaceful. It's disturbing to have something like organized in a place that is surrounded by something so dangerous. You feel like there HAS to be a catch, some kind of price for this quiet little world. And then the Maze starts changing it's rules and chaos starts bleeding through. And then fear. And suddenly the nice Quiet Glade isn't so Nice anymore. And then of course there is the Maze itself. That thing is freakin' TERRIFYING and Thomas being a Runner does nothing for your nerves. There are small, odd moments of calm in the odd, disconcerting Glade, and then you are running through the Maze, being chased by Greavers. Greavers are so awful! They are like these giant metal spiders/scorpions THINGS and they are just awful!!!! They are as bad as Shelob. And there are way more than one. So you spend three quarters of the movie in a perpetual state of panic. It is so intense you guys! I was shocked at how many times I jumped and flailed in my seat. I kept grabbing at Tiny and she would smack me. Especially if I got too fangirly.


Thomas was brilliant. I loved him instantly. And not just because of his looks. (dat face doe....) He was a really good character. You don't know much about him but you can't help but like him right off. He's reserved and keeps to himself but he can open up when he feels strongly about something. He doesn't let people push him around. He's curious and stubborn. He's loyal. He's a good friend. He's very brave (or very stupid) and does ridiculous, heroic things. He's a leader. He's a rebel. He's a fighter. And I loved that about him. I was very attached very quickly. This happens to me a lot.


As for the side characters, they were also pretty good. Some of them you didn't get long enough to really have a connection to them, but the main side characters were incredibly likable. There were two in particular that I really liked. One was Chuck who became like a little brother to Thomas, and the other was Newt. I LOVED NEWT. Newt was one of the characters you don't get a lot of but you can't help but see him whenever he is around. He is super cute. He keeps everyone together and always tries to smooth things over and make the best of a bad situation. He thinks the best of people, and he trusts Thomas when no one else will. He is one of the few boys who thinks for himself and seems to have a better mind for what is right and wrong. If anything happens to him I will cry and cry and cry and probably go into mourning for a good number of weeks. And well.... I know the last book is really sad and after the movie I'm very afraid something awful will happen. And I will drown in a pool of feels.

I hate feels.



Newt and Thomas are my two favorite characters. I loved them both very much and I can tell that they are going to be something very special in the future. I might have fangirled.  A little bit. a lot. In the theater. And then, afterwards Treskie laughed at me because my little sister Annie didn't see the movie and she wanted to know if it was a brother story and I was like, "Yeeeeees!!!!!!!" and Treskie was like, "OMG Bella! It was barely a friendship!"

She doesn't understand! They share a bond now! THEY SHALL BE BROTHERS!!!!!

She just rolled her eyes at my ejaculation. She thinks I'm ridiculous. I Brotp almost as much as I ship. It's become a thing. The minute I see that two boys are forming a friendship, even if its a small little thing, I'm like.


Don't judge. Brotp's are my weakness. I can't help that. I jump on friendship like a rabid rabbit jumps on carrots. (note; I watched pet rabbits once and they never had a carrot. not even one. I fed them salad. lots and lots of salad. I felt like my whole life was a lie.) If they aren't a brotp, (such as Clara and the Doctor or Juliet and Lassadar or Eleven and the Ponds) I am like 


I have many older sisters who heave long sufferings sighs at my use of the Tumblr words. But they are so fun to use, and they're really catchy. Just try it. Next time you see a friendship story, like... Let's say Clara and Twelve. Wait until they do something adorable and then say


I swear you'll feel free. Its even better to say BROTPING IT! That is my favorite after Ship. Ship is just so much fun to say. "Oh I ship it." Ship is such a fun word. and when you say it fast enough it almost feels like one sharp word. "IShipit!"

I hope you enjoyed the Review! I should be posting again soon because this is Tolkien Week and I want to do at least ONE Tolkien inspired post and honor him accordingly. PEACE OUT Y'ALL!

*slides off car*


Thursday, September 18, 2014

All that is gold does not glitter

I love the first days of autumn. I love how the wind picks up and the sky turns that dark velvet blue, growing deeper toward the horizon until it is almost violet it's so blue. I love how the trees are vibrant. They are turning colors but there is still a lot of green so it looks like the tree is on fire, alight with gold's and red's frozen into the perfect Kaleidoscope The sun seeps down through them and makes pools of shadows that play among the grass. And all the trees seem ten times more alive and the air is full of spice and the promise of snow. And it gets into your bones and makes you feel wild. You get struck with mountain fever and you want to run and dance with your hair down around your shoulders, and you want to find great boulders or massive hills of rock and stone and scale them. And rush down along side waterfalls. And tackle trees and climb to the top and just sit there and shout into the wind until you are hoarse and breathless.

That is what happened to me yesterday. Fall is coming and that means everything is starting it's change. I would be lying if I said I wasn't sad; I am. I love my summers and we don't have very long with them. But these past few years we've had precious poor winters and I'm actually kind of excited for cool weather. (haha. I bet that will change by January 8-D ) I sort of ditched everything: writing, reading I even stopped school early, and took off to the meadow with my little sisters. We spent more than two hours there, running up and down through the grass and letting the wild get into our blood until we were too winded and giddy to go on. and then I found what I really needed. A tree. I used to climb trees all the time when I was younger but in the past few years all my regular climbing trees have been systematically chopped down. (which is very sad for me.) So it's been like.... three years since I last climbed a tree. But when I saw this one I just HAD to get up among it's branches. So I did. And it was AMAZING. I forgot how much fun climbing a tree was!!! I got all scraped and my hand's stuck with pitch and bark but it was totally worth it. I felt like I was ten again. We got high enough that every time the wind blew the whole tree would rock and sometimes a great gale would toss up and it was so much fun! It was just what I needed. I've been rather stressed lately and getting to run and climb did a lot to relax me. It even helped with my writers block!

I've been having a really bad case of writers block. And it's frustrating because It isn't plot trouble or character trouble or 'how do I get them out of here now??' trouble. I knew exactly what I needed and I knew what I want. I have nothing wrong with the story itself, I can see the whole of it in my head. I just sit down to write and .... the scenes just don't. At all. They feel wrong and flat and awful and I can't make them flow or seem real and then I get mad and slam stuff around. I can see the scenes. I can act the scenes. I cant' write the scenes. This is very vexing for me.

After I climbed the tree and spent a day out I decided I had a plan. I would put Broken Trust on the table for a little and work on something else. This is terrifying for me; I have a fear of never finishing something if I stop. But I think a break from the story would help. I've been working with these same characters since May. Roughly. I was working out plots and story lines back in February and March, and that is just about seven months. I think I just need to step back for a little and hopefully I'll feel better when I open the Words Document again. Because as of right now I hate the whole book. I've started work on a sister story though! A real sister story!!! I'm excited I think it will be good. It is going to be a very fairytale-based story, with withes and wolves and cottages-in-woods and lots of dark bits. It should be fun 8-)

I had a moment the other day. I don't know if it is a nerd moment or a geek moment or a mixture of both, but it was a moment. My mom was chopping potatoes and humming the song of Gil Galad, from The Lord of the Rings, and then she muttered to herself; "Not all who wander are lost.... how does that go?" and I just spilled it off for her.
"All that is gold does not glitter.
Not all those who wander are lost
The old that is strong does not wither
Deep roots are not reached by frost
For from the ashes a fire shall be woken
A light from the shadows shall spring
Renewed shall be the blade that was broken
The crownless again shall be king."

And she just looked at me and laughed and I laughed too because I had no idea I knew that poem. I don't remember ever memorizing it. I just knew it, like knowing two plus two is four. It was weird.

And that was really random.

You know what else is weird? I am planning to write a book. A book about two Gladiators in Ancient Rome. It is going to be a friendship story and (if I do it right) it should be really, really good.  But I want to make sure to do it as well and as accurately as I can, so I threw myself into the research with great enthusiasm. I've always found Gladiators interesting. I'm not exactly sure why - I'm not even sure when I first hear about them. but I had an odd fascination with them. Researching them has only sparked my fascination more. I know they were awful. I know the idea of two warriors fighting to the death in a ring is terrible and, to be honest, I really don't get why Romans enjoyed it so much. It was brutal and horrific and I certainly would never go to see something like that. But it's not so much the games and the fights that intrigue me: it's the warriors themselves. Who were they? How did they train? Where did they come from? What was it about them that made them stick out so epically in history? I guess you could say it was my nerd coming out, or maybe my curiosity at why these gladiators were never mentioned in any history book that I've ever read. But either way it's an odd thing to be getting excited and even *cough* fangirly about. However to be fair, a lot of the fangirling is due to my story and the friendship I'm going to be writing, not the blood and gore and horror of the gladiators and their schools. So it isn't so weird. Still pretty weird though. Fangirling over my own books? Really? 

As you may have noticed I haven't changed my blog, nor have I done a Prison Break review. I do still plan to do both these things, but it is hard because now I am the oldest person at home and I am doing school and helping teach and making meals and I don't have a much time. I hope I can soon though, because I REALLY want to fangirl about Prison Break. But not yet. not yet.

TILL NEXT TIME!!! Peace Out Y'all!!


*slides off car*

Thursday, September 11, 2014

Stories, Writing and a Movie.

Yesterday was the 13-year anniversary of 9/11. I didn't have a chance to blog, but let's take a moment of silence in honor of all those who served and fell on that day.

God Bless America
It's almost the end of the school week

Le normal people finishing school


Le me just finishing school 

Le me putting away my books

Le me opening computer. 

Le me;

Hmmm. I wonder what the best way to break this person heart is.... 


I've realized something. I think the stories I read and the shows I watch rub off on my stories. Most of the books I plan on writing have some kind of pain in them. It's a problem. I like books with a lot of ... hardship to them. And I suppose its not really a recent think. I've always drawn to stories with high stakes and a lot of conflict and good against evil and heart ache and troubles.... but not because I like being in pain. Some people have asked me that. "Do you like pain? Do you like crying?"

 Well no. It isn't so much that I like crying and getting my heart broken over fictional characters. It's more of a light-in-the-darkness thing I suppose. I was trying to explain this to one of my older sisters who doesn't write and she just couldn't get it. She thinks I'm a weirdo for liking the sad, traumatizing stories that I do. But... Its' not like she thinks. I love stories where it seems like there is all this darkness and pain and evil and you don't think anything can ever be okay again, but then there is this flicker of hope. Somehow, even with all this awfulness going on the characters are able to push on and fight and survive and keep HOPE and even optimism. It's very inspiring for me. Like in Lord of the Rings. If things hadn't gotten so awful and terrible the ending wouldn't have been half so fulfilling, and the same goes for a most books. I love the stories where there is a lot of bad but that bad makes all the good moments so much better. Stories about friendship and family and loyalty and love and fighting for what is right even when it's hard, even when everything is falling apart and you feel like you're drowing. I think those types of stories are very beautiful and amazing.

This is why it irritates me when people say "It's just a story." or "They're not real." or "For pity sake its just a TV show!!!" I always balk. No it is not just a TV show. Stories are powerful and the characters you come into contact with can be just as powerful as a real friend. I can personally attest to this. It's a strange thing that a fake person can inspire you to be brave or to do the right thing or to be optimistic when things are rough. But they can. Characters touch peoples lives. Fictional characters have even SAVED lives. There have been fans who decided to keep going because, "If Sam and Dean could do it, why can't I?"

I've been on a buzz with this recently. These past few weeks the whole "It's just a story!" has irked me to know end. It might be because I've gotten back into writing and have emotionally invested myself into several characters and thrown myself into them and I get very protective. It might also have something to do with me being an actress. Acting makes me even more protective of the fictional world.

I have a hard time explaining myself. I suppose what I'm trying to say is that stories and characters mean a lot to me and it hurts when people say they're fake and I'm silly to like them because they aren't fake for me, they're important. I think stories are incredibly important and I think they can do a lot of good for a lot of people. A friend of mine said that stories are special. Even Christ used stories. He used them to help us understand about Heaven and about who God really is and how He works. He used them all the time, and I think that is saying something. Stories get through to people in a way nothing else can. I believe that with all my heart. And that is a big reason I feel so protective of them.

Talking of stories I watched The Gladiator for the first time the other day.


LDFJSLFJLSLGJ:SDFKJSDLFJSLDFJKSDFJSDF!!!!! I LOVED IT SO MUCH!!!!!! Russell Crowe did an amazing job as Maximus and I completely fell in love with him. He was so freakin' cool!! Of course the movie itself was a little violent and gory. Okay. A lot violent and gory. You know.... Gladiators. They fight to the death in the arena. They're very bloody. In fact some people might think you a little strange for wanting to watch this particular movie. I used my writing as an excuse. I said that I wanted to watch it to help research my new book. (yes I'm working on a Gladiator book. With a friendship. And feels. *hides behind pillow*) And while this was true to an extent I also just wanted to watch it because it looked really good and sad and brilliant and I was not disappointed. I cried. I smiled. I shouted in triumph. I clapped. I was consumed with hundreds of different feels. IT WAS BRILLIANT! HE WAS BRILLIANT! I LOVED HIM!!!! I CRIED!! AND YES!!! YES I WAS ENTERTAINED!

What we do in life echoes in eternity.

I'm going to watch Indiana Jones and try not to freak out over the fact that the third Captain America movie is called The Fallen Son. PEACE OUT Y'ALL!!!!!!

*slides off car*

Monday, September 1, 2014

First Day of September

I haven't posted in almost two weeks. I bet you thought I died. Or dropped off the face of the Earth. Or escaped with The Doctor and have been running around saving worlds. Unfortunately it wasn't the latter. But I am alive! And I don't really have a good reason for the gap between my post except that it has been a very long, pesty twelve days. Sometimes life just doesn't.

Anyway.... LIFE UPDATE!!!!

My uncle is a priest and he's been up visiting so we've been having Mass every morning which is really nice. It gives a nice start to the day and makes you feel more optimistic about life in general. Something I need since I've been a bit moody and angst-y lately. Bright side! Angst means I've been doing a lot more writing lately. (and a lot more acting 8-D ) I'm researching for story set in the Ancient Roman times. It's going to be a friendship story and hopefully, if I do it right, it will be something very original and unique. I'll give you a hint: I checked out a lot of Gladiator books from the library yesterday.

I also checked out the first two books of the Raven Gate series, just 'cause. I've just finished book one. Hehe. Yeah. It was a bit disturbing, especially the ending. I almost stopped I was so disturbed. The only reason I kept going is because a few of my sisters have read the series and there are friendships in it and even though its traumatizing I NEED a friendship right now. I've been on a major friendship high ever since I read Brothers in Arms. It's a serious problem. I raided the library and checked out a bunch of friendships that I've never read, such as Raven Gate, Raven Boys (yes it's different) and the Peculiar. I don't know if its a friendship story but it sounded good. I need something to distract me. My dear friend Jack also sent me her Broken Blade Book which I am SUPER excited for. (She is seriously brilliant. Seriously.)

I watched Wreck it Ralph recently. It was so cute! I thought it would be this kind of silly show and I didn't expect much from it, but WOW! It was so adorable and sweet! It even gave me feels! If you want a fun cute story watch I would highly recommend it. It's really enjoyable.

Ralph & Vanellope

School starts tomorrow. *sigh* I'm a little moody about this but this is my last year and I'll be done soon which is an encouraging thought. I'm going to try and make my last year worth while so during the school year I'm not going to be posting as much. I'll still try to do it once or twice a week but it won't be AS much. Also, I want to put my blog under construction soon and update it a little. Make it more me. If I'm not too busy... (haha.)

Happy  Labor Day! PEACE OUT Y'ALL!!!!

*slides off car*

Pile of good things

Pile of good things