Wednesday, June 25, 2014

I haven't given up and that is all that matters

Update of the day?

I am still writing!

I know right?? Go me!!

Well actually that is a pretty big thing. Me writing I mean. I almost gave up last week. Its been hard to write lately because I am trying to finish school so I haven't been doing as much writing as I could be and I depressed myself because I realized I have only written like, 2000 words in the past three days. I'm also coming up on a hard part in my story and I'm afraid because I have to start plotting part two and part two is going to be sad, and overall I'm just not doing so well right now. BUT I'M NOT GIVING UP!!!!! I am a warrior!!!!! I can't give up now! Not when I have a buddy who pokes me to make sure I don't lose steam.

She is a very good buddy.

My Motto. 

Anyway, as far as my story is going I think I'm doing pretty well. I mean, considering. The plot escalated so quickly I almost couldn't keep up with it and now it is so dark and awful and I realized I needed to do things I didn't want to do. I have to hurt characters and create pain and I just... I just didn't want to write. Because I know the more I wrote the closer I'd be to all that bad stuff and I didn't want to have to write it. Cause I know it will hurt.

Today I worked on the end of my story. I have three other bits I need to write in, all of which I am having trouble with. I need to write an escape, a betrayal and another bit that I can't actually talk about but lets just say it is hard to do. Suffice to say I was too upset to write those and decided to finish up my ending instead. This was a big step because I've been postponing that last scene for a while and I knew it was 'Now or never.'  So I wrote it. I have my last scene done now, and it was really, really hard to write and I was so distraught I had to make something to cheer myself up. Here you are. A snippet, a sneak peak. Something like that. I don't even know what to call it.

you're welcome.
You are free to guess who that is, who that particular quote belongs to.
I want to try and audition for a "My Fair Lady" play but I am very nervous and I'll need to eat lots of ice cream and think it over before deciding. I'm also going to start looking into getting an agent. To help with my acting. Until then I need to see if there is a way I can start making some money. This job thing I have, I dunno if its gonna work out. It doesn't look very good right now.
I am want a new blog look. I've wanted one since, like, January. I feel like my blog is really crowded. And green. And I'm just done with it. Maybe I'll play around with blogger when I have time. See if I can tweak a few things. Make it look nice again. Clean it up a little.
Okay I'm ready for Summer now. I want my sun, I want my seventy-degree weather and I want to sit on the deck and have the wind be chilly and drive me inside cause I don't want to wear a sweater. In JUNE. The magic of living on the mountains guys.
We watched The Winter Soldier again on Sunday. We went down to the at the dollar theatre after Mass and made an event of it, getting coffee and banana bread and preparing for the emotional trauma we were about to suffer. Again. Tell you what, it was worse the second time. I really need a third one. and the next Avenger movie. 2016 is so far away!
God Bless and have a lovely night! Peace out y'all!

Thursday, June 19, 2014

"Curse your sudden but inevidable betrayal!"

Very late last night I finally reached 50,000 words. At first I didn't realize I had. I didn't see the number get jacked up, shiny and new like a beautiful present. But then I looked down and saw what had happened while I wrote. And I just sat there staring at the number for a little bit, realizing I had just written half 100,000 words. I would have jumped up and screamed but everyone was asleep so I had to content myself with grinning like a retarded seal and silently squealing in my mind.

Pinky Pie
I almost blogged last night to tell you all this glorious news but I was too tried and decided I could wait. Then I woke up this morning and I didn't feel very well. Which sucked. My boss told me to go home, so I don't have to work today. I am curled up in bed, typing away and feeling sleepy as I try to finish up English. I also want to do some writing today.

GO  ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Geico Pig Squeel*

I need to do a review on the Ascendants Trilogy sometime next week, but I don't know when.Maybe I'll try doing that on Monday. I really want to yell and make you all read it so you don't miss out, I just have no time now. But I will have it out soon, promise! I will try and challenge myself to a review. Reviews can be hard. *sigh*

Summer is finally here, but Winter seems to think it gets a free ride on our weather. One day we will be up in the 70's the next we are down into the 50's with a wind chill.


And yes, I know we had a lousy winter so I shouldn't really complain. But I only get three months of my summertime beauty. I want my heat. And My sun. And my warm smelling grass. Not wind and cold nights where you have to CLOSE THE WINDOW. that isn't summer. *Sulks*

I started up a new show. It is intense and it make me incredibly nervous and stressed and like


I'm only on Season ONE guys. I bet I sound adorable. In fact, I know I do. I can tell it gets worse and worse and then it gets sad and sadder and sadder and....... why do I always pick fandoms that are emotionally traumatizing??  It seems to be my lot in life. Sad fandoms and characters that break my heart. (even my own story is starting to do that.) It is really good  though. Really, really good. I love it. It has brother stories and friend stories. How could I resist?

Now I am off! Have a lovely afternoon and don't kill yourself when you try to catch butterflies. They are stealthy and they WILL make you trip. I know this. You are warned. *Nods* Peace out y'all!!!

 *Slides off Car*

Friday, June 13, 2014

"I don't want to touch the world! Its not sanitary!"

I went to work for the first time today.

I have discovered Three things.

One: I may be more on the extrovert side but I definitely have some introvert in me and I did not like being away from home for four hours. With the public. It was not fun.

Two: I don't like making sandwiches. It makes me nervous and flustered and my hands shake.

Three: If it wasn't for Disneyland I wouldn't be doing this.

I kept reminding myself this is my first day. it will get better. It will get better. It will get better. I think a lot of the anxiety was because I have never done anything like this before. EVER. And when I get nervous I forget stuff. Stuff I usually know up down and sideways. Its why I don't test well. And when I was making sandwiches I'd forget things. And then I'd get more nervous.

The first couple hours were the worst. I was so anxious and I kept worrying that I wasn't getting anything right. But as it went on I got a little better. I wasn't calm or anything but I didn't feel like crying every time I got a piece of bread out. I kept shouting BUCKY! and DISNEYLAND!! in my head to keep my courage up. And.... I think for a first time thing I did pretty well. I told myself this while waiting outside the shop for my ride to come take me home. I was only there four hours. I am still learning the ropes. I can do this. I am the Master Commander!

Then my sister came and I kind of unloaded all my pent up nerves on her and she was awesome and took me out for coffee cause big sisters do that sort of thing. And then I came home and fried my brain on pinterest and tried not to think.

My first day at work.

A little awful.

A little stressful.

A little okay.

I think I can do this.

FOR DISNEYLAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


After Pinterest I happened into my room and leaped on to the bed. And I was pleasantly surprised to find it was squishy. SQUISHY! Like, sooooooft. As in I sunk into it. That has never happened. Ever.

Our Mattress sucks.

I was contemplating how this phenomenon had happened and when I remembered my mom had gone off the hill this morning. I got really excited and peaked under the covers to see if my theory was right. It was. Guys?? I have memory foam!!!!


I'm going to have lots of fun with this. Lots of fun. Every time someone comes into my room.
"Hey, I have memory foam...." Then I will laugh to myself because I am so funny and clever to have made that reference.
I have to write tonight and that means a short post. I'm sorry it can't be helped. I will try to post for real tomorrow, I will. BUT GUYS! I AM ONLY 3,000 WORDS AWAY FROM 50,000!!!!!!
I'm going to try to reach that tonight.

Which is why I am going, leaving you with such a feeble, boring post. I'm doing NaNo! Deal with it!

GOD BLESS Y'ALL! And thanks sooooooo much for your prayers. They are much appreciated :)

*Slides off Car*

Monday, June 9, 2014

"You are such a girls petticoat!"


I really want this hoodie. I could hang it up next to my Sam one and admire them at night when I can't sleep. maybe I'll even start a hoodie collections inspired by fandoms. That could be cool. A hoodie for every day of the week. Bucky's hoodie could be any day though, cause I don't know if I could ever not where it when I had the chance. I'd have to do Sam's one day and Bucky's the next. Seriously though. Can't you see me in Disneyland soldiering through the streets wearing this, flipping my knife all epic like? Oh wait. It will be too warm. How about in the winter then? on my home street? I could toss my hair and spin my metal arm and maybe I'd where black war paint and saunter around reenacting the "Bucky?" scene. And jumping on cars and doing a running flip, which I will undoubtedly master. I've already been practicing my knife flip. I've gotten so I can toss it and catch it and it doesn't fall. And now I really want to reenact the scene with that flip.  Except I need a Steve. That's okay. I think I can find a buddy willing to be my Steve.
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See, this is what happens when I do NaNo for too long.  I go a little CRAZY!!!!!! *loud cackle*
Seriously now.  *cough* NaNo has been good for me. I've more than doubled my book since the beginning of the month and that makes me happy. Really happy. I am only like, 7,000 words from 50,000. I'm making it guys!!!! Unfortunately I'm not sharing any more snippets right now. I don't want to give too much away and I can't find a snippet right now that isn't spoilerific. I know there is one somewhere but I am too tired to go searching through my book and find it. I don't even feel like writing tonight. Can fictional trauma kill you? And if you can, how would you explain that one?
"Oh she died writing a book she was way to emotionally involved in."
I am so tired guys.
I have to go.
I have to sleep.
In case you haven't noticed I have been having a few late nights. Maybe more than. I've been really restless and my little sisters have been having nightmares which kind of keep me awake. And  then my characters wont leave me alone and the next day I am so tired I can't write. And they get mad at me for not doing my job and hit me and I'm just like....
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 This post is falling apart I don't even know where I was going with it anymore. I wanted to do a NaNo update. That's all. I think I mentioned NaNo somewhere so that is good. But I have to go now.
I'm leaving.
I'm going.
Pray for me I work tomorrow!!! 
*Slides off car*
Is she gone? Good. She was making my head hurt. Anyway....Tyson here. Do you want to read something that actually concerns NaNo?? Well then you should go HERE. We stole the blog. Don't tell Jim and Ben.

Wednesday, June 4, 2014

I've been bit on my finger! It could've been my leg! It could've been my head, I might've died!

I have a job.
I have a job.
I did a follow-up interview at that sandwich place and SHE HIRED ME!!!! I come in on Tuesday at 11:15. She's going to start training me. Guys this is for real. Like, real. I have a real life, normal job.
I don't know what my emotions are doing. They've been going up and down like crazy ever since I got home. One minute I'm like.....


The next minute I'm like.

I was so freaked out you guys!!! I still am, a bit. I mean, that interview... Oh my gosh. I had this sick feeling in my stomach the whole time I was doing it. I mean, don't get me wrong. The lady was very nice and when it was finished she told me I had done well and she'd like to have me. Which was, ya' know, nice. But it still freaked me out. And once I got in the car I noticed my hands were shaking and I couldn't make them stop.

supernatural animated GIF
The job is part time and that is good. that leaves time for school and NaNo (Am I crazy? Yes. I am a little crazy.) AND ABOUT NANO!!!!!! The worst thing happened to me last night. I think I am going to have to do something awful in part two. Something really, really awful.  And I am upset cause I love Dimitri. *Hides behind Pillow* Don't throw shoes at me! I am trying to help him! I am! But I don't think I can. That makes me depressed. I sulked and couldn't write. Instead I sat around thinking up more Bucky pain to help cope with the writing hurt.
I am so messed up.
Speaking of Bucky pain!!!! I have a started another blog with a good buddy of mine. It was sort of spur-of-the-moment and we are still not sure what it's going to be like, but run over and check it out HERE. It should be pretty fun once we  actually get a feel for it.

That's all I have. Bonus points to anyone who can tell me what my title quote is from!!! Peace out and may the Fourth be with you. *Slides off Car*


Tuesday, June 3, 2014

"I looked into the TARDIS. And the TARDIS looked into me."

FELLOW WHOVIANS!!!!!!!!! Today is Bad Wolf Day!!!! This is a thing! Seriously. Spread the word.


Now on to the snippet. I was wondering what I should post today, then I realized I haven't introduced you to Dimitri or Nightly yet, so here is one of their first scenes in the book. Be kind, its rusty.

The sky opened up and let loose its waters. Nightly scowled and pulled the hood of his cloak tightly over his head. The cloak was rather too big for him because it had belonged to Dealm, and it sagged around his shoulders and trailed in the dirt. He'd been tempted to rip it off more than once during the journey but the cold and wet had kept it on. Now he was glad he had left it on. Their walking slowed and became even more labored. The rain was turning the dirt and grime to mud and the mud grip the feet of the travelers and stuck to their boots. Everything was bleak and wet and horrible. Nightly hated it. He couldn't believe how far he and Dimitri had been forced to fall. To go up against their own kingdom. To be on the run as traitors and fugitives. To have lost a friend.... and not just to betrayal. He gritted his teeth hard and stopped his thoughts before they could drift again toward Dealm. He didn't want to remember. He wished he could forget that whole night. He wished he could wipe it away. He wondered if Dimitri felt the same way.

 Dimitri didn't. He didn't feel regret or even grief. All he felt was rage. Cold rage that ran through his veins and banged in his head every time he thought of Liam. Liam. He thought he might hate Liam. Liam and his secrets. Liam and his lies. Liam and his treachery which he never saw coming until the sword struck his arm and made him fall. Liam had smiled then. His face had broke into a wide, twisted smile and he had tapped Dimitri lightly on the head with the flat of his sword. "Dimitri, Dimitri. Did you honestly think -"

Dimitri shut Liam's voice out of his head viciously. He did hate Liam. He did. Why shouldn't he? Why should he care anymore? He didn't! Sluck went the mud. Sluck. Sluck. Sluck. Slim. Slim. Sliam. Sliam. Liam. Liam. Liam. Dimitri stopped and glowered at the mud. It must have thought it was pretty clever, mocking him like this! Well it could think whatever it wanted. What did mud know anyway?

"Dimitri?" Nightly watched his brother anxiously. "Are you alright?"

Dimitri started walking again. "I'm fine. Stop asking me if I'm Alright! I'm alright!"

Nightly fixed his eyes on the ground and kept walking. He knew Dimitri was upset and lashing out, but he wished he would just let himself snap. Nightly wanted him to shout. To vent. His silence frightened him because it meant he hadn't dealt with the situation and was still just going with anger. And he could only hold that in for so long. Nightly wished Dimitri would talk. He wished Dimitri would let him talk. He wanted to vent. He wanted to scream and sob and curse. But instead he plodded in silence trying hard not to shout at the hard silent back in front of him. He knew there were some things can't be spoken of in words. Maybe Liam's betrayal was one of them.

*Nervously Chews Nails* Does it suck? I think it needs a good polish, but maybe I've been editing too long. On the subject of editing, I am going to continue Camp NaNo in June. And I'm going to try and finish part one of this stupid book so I can work on part two and cry. Tyson hurts guys. Tyson wasn't suppose to hurt. Last night  when I tried to write, I found a song that describes him pretty well. Some of the lyrics are weird but most of them fit almost perfectly. TYSON!!!! *sob*

And I am done with my graceless heart
So tonight I'm gonna cut it out and then restart
'Cause I like to keep my issues drawn
It's always darkest before the dawn
 At the end of part one this is 100% Tyson. Just so you know. And I'm pretty sure now that he and Peregrine are going to be the big storyline in part two. I have to finish part one first though. *headdesk* Part one keeps needing more stuff added to it to make it work. That's okay though, right? Having to add stuff is fine. I can add. And I can fix that out-of-character crap. Right?? Sure. I can do that.

Just one more thing. I am hoping to do a follow-up interview for that Job today. I want this job. I'd really, really like to have this job. Please pray I get it. I would so grateful.

*Sides off Car*

Pile of good things

Pile of good things