Friday, May 30, 2014

This song I like it. Another!

I can feel my deadline for NaNo catching up to me. And I really don't I am going to be finished with this story by June 7th. I didn't actually think I would. There was just too much other stuff I had to do. Like applying for a job. (Have I mentioned this? I think I have. Well I am hoping to do a check-up tomorrow or Tuesday. PLEASE PRAY I GET HIRED!!!!!) Also... I've missed a few days because we did family things like picnics and having a sleepover which involved running around a deserted park at eight o'clock at night, playing tag and screaming all sorts of random things at the top of our voices because the echo back was so cool. (TARDIS!!!!) And then there was the nights that I just could not write. I opened the computer and just.... stared.


This is how its been the past week. Though usually I am able to force out a at least a little something.  There was only one night when I didn't write anything period. I tried. I did. But my brain felt like soggy newspaper and I wrote the same sentence like ten times and deleted it each time. I had no oomph, no inspiration and I think I was just burnt out. I was tired. I hadn't been sleeping well for most of the week and I think I killed a couple brain cells doing too much math. I just couldn't. Of course none of my characters have been very understanding. They're pretty angry I've been neglecting them these last few days, especially considering our deadline. They don't like me being lazy. And basically the wont leave me alone.


  I'm trying to do math!
I'm trying to make cookies!
WRITE FOR US!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am trying to cope with Bucky feels, leave me ALONE!!!
Look. I have things to DO. Understand? (like chores and school?? HELLO??) the last thing I need is an angry mob of characters. They keep me up at night too. They wont stop talking to me. Giving me scenes to write. Like, seriously?? Its 1:00 in the MORNING! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU???
They finally poked me hard enough that I've written today. I'm still writing. Tyson is very pleased. Maybe I'll make him cut himself with his silly sword. then he'll see. 

I don't think this month has been a loss either though. I have done more writing this month than I have done in a very long time. I know where I am at and where I'm going. I have written some hard chapters and cried over some hard scenes. I've made myself write and that is a big step for me. because writing is such a delicate subject for me. And For the longest time I didn't think I was a writer. And I didn't want to write. So this had been a really good thing for me. And I would like to thank all those lovely people who commented encouragingly on my snippets and made me feel special. That was very kind of you and they really made my day. I think I've made some real progress and I'm optimistic. And I wont stop writing just because May is over. I am going to finish this book, dang it, if only for my buddy Jim who has been so patient waiting for me to get my act together and poking me friendly-like to help me along. (Thank you, buddy. You are brilliant.) I will try and post another snippet before the 7th. I promise. *hugs*

Also there is a little upside all this writing and hassle has had. I've discovered two new songs. They are the songs I listen to when I'm feeling especially depressed while writing and need spark. Well... I have an assortment, but these two are my Go-to songs. I plug my headphones in and listen to them on full blast, slowly kill myself with the lyrics. For some reason sad music helps with writing pain.

Seriously. The lyrics to this song are so sad and so unique. They makes me ache inside. Especially when it says, You build me up and then I fall apart. For some reason that line really affects me. It makes me think of tragedy and loss and betrayal. And it hurts but it helps. Especially with Tyson. I think Tyson ... Tyson has really grown on me. I think I might love him. And the that line, it reminds me a lot of him.
I can Fake a Smile. I can force a laugh.
I can dance and play the part if that's what you ask
Give you all I am

and for some reason, this quote feels very much like Tyson and Peregrine. I actually think part two of my book is going to be more greatly focused on then the others. Especially because of the... something that happens at the end of the book. Tyson has become quite an interesting character all around and the more I learn about him the worse I feel for him. I want to hug him and make all the pain go away.
But I'm only human.
And I bleed when I fall down
I'm only human
and I crash and I break down! 
This ... THIS. This is like, EVERY ONE of my characters. Especially Peregrine and Annie. That line of lyrics, it makes me think of so many characters, so many broken souls. And I almost feel ashamed to be putting my own characters in the same category as Bucky or Sam or Dean or Arthur. But I can't help it. Its a very Peregrine line, Okay?? The poor kid has too much on his shoulders. I actually think part two of my book is going to be better. Now that I've really set up something and I know what I want. Hehehe. Here I am, talking about part two and part one isn't even done yet. 
This is how I encouraged myself. "Tolkien made it. It took him fourteen years but he made it! I've only been writing - really writing - a month. I CAN MAKE IT!!!!
I laughed and then I cried.
That brings me to the other song which has helped inspire writing. Its called Mercy by Hurts. This song.... Okay. It is a little weird. I will be the first to admit that. It is definitely an acquired taste. The first time I heard it I wasn't wildly keen on it. It was too loud and too much. But slowly it started growing on me and I got to like it a lot. And  then I saw it to Sam and Dean.... and I sort of have been listening to it on repeat ever since. I especially like the M! E! R! C! Y!!!! Bit. It invigorates me! Yes. I am a freak. Do not Judge.
I liked it so much I made a multifandom video to it. Watch it. Its very good. But it does have spoilers from... everything. Just FYI. If you like it the subscribe button is always nice. I like that button :)
And with that I am off! I have a friend over and we are going to have Pizza and watching something and I need to get off. God bless and have a wonderful night!!
*Slides of car*

Saturday, May 24, 2014

Seven Lies about Writing

So you are writing a story? What is that like??
Its a bloody pain.
There are many pre-conceived idea's about how writing works. In this month (and in my time as a writer) I have heard many things that are ridiculous and make me laugh. Last night I heard the most ridiculous one ever, and decided I needed to vent. So I have made a list of the top Seven Lies about writing. Enjoy.

1.) "Writing isn't hard. All you do is put a string of scenes together. I could do it in a day."

This person has obviously never written. Ever. Writing is hard. Writing is a struggle. Sitting down and putting a story on paper isn't easy and it isn't always fun. Sometimes the only thing you want to do is throw down the book and run away and never open it again. Writing is NOT easy.

2.) Writers block isn't real. You're just get lazy and stop caring. 
Take it from me you guys. WRITERS BLOCK IS VERY REAL!!!! IF you think it isn't you can go sit in a corner with Cas and Ward and drink their tea. It is true that sometimes you get burnt out. You don't want to write anymore. You get tired and you're not sure where you were going with the story. Sometimes lack of interest happens. Sometimes Pinterest happens. But sometimes you simply get to a part in your story and you can NOT make it move forward. You've dug yourself into a grave and now you don't know how to get out of it. (Or one of your characters have dug themselves into a grave. That happens.) Sometimes there is a forest you can't get out of or a dungeon one of your characters got himself trapped in when he thought he was being clever. Sometimes its an unexpected traitor. Sometimes all your characters start arguing and decide your plot is rubbish and they want to change it. So don't you dare tell me writers block isn't real.
3.) If you write you are a freaked out introvert with no life.
Okay. This is true to a certain extent. A lot of writers are more public-shy then normal people are. We prefer the comfort of our bedrooms and characters than being out all night with strangers. There is nothing wrong with that. But .... I'm a writer. And I am not an introvert. I get nervous. Sometimes I don't particularly LIKE being out of my comfort zone. But for the most part I enjoy people. I enjoy going out. I just like being home by a certain time. By 8:00 I want to be home. In my pajama's. And I want tea and cookies and pinterest.
4.) Writers do nothing all day.
Excuse me. WHAT? This is as preposterous as "Homeschoolers never do school." Just because we aren't running around in big PROFESSIONAL jobs, doesn't mean we aren't doing anything. You have no idea how much work it is to pour your soul into a story. It takes lots of time. It takes energy. It takes long nights with chocolate,  pulling out your hair and begging your characters to behave. It takes research. It takes racking your brains until you can't remember what 2 + 2 equals and you forget you've already written this sentence.

5.) Writers do not actually get bossed around by their characters. They make that up as an excuse to slack on writing.
I am going to write you into my book, my good fellow. And you are going to die. We do so get bossed around by our characters! If you haven't had characters poking you in your sleep you haven't properly written yet. If you haven't gotten distracted writing an essay or trying to fold laundry because one particularly annoying character will NOT SHUT UP, you either have very well-behaved characters or you just.... don't have characters period. 
6.)  Writers like causing their characters pain.
This isn't true. We don't like causing our characters pain. At least I don't. Nothing makes me more upset than having to watch my character go through a bunch of crap because of me. Nothing is harder for me than watching my characters cry or lose someone close to them. When they are hurt I am hurt. It is shocking how much you can be hurt by the characters you created. You are very close to them and therefore you feel what they feel. Its like watching a friend suffer. I am not even kidding. I have cried with my characters before! A couple times now. I Think the only people who like hurting their characters are Moffat and the SPN writers. Because they are EVIL.  
7.) 'Its your story. You can do what you want.'
This was presented to me a few nights ago when I was writing a sad part in my book and having trouble with it.  I was getting super upset and kept having to stop to take a deep breath so I wouldn't cry. My mom noticed and asked me why I was doing what I was doing. And I told her I had to. The characters had given me no choice. She told me if it was upsetting to just change it, and I told her it had to happen and I couldn't change it. She laughed at that and said "Sure you can change it, Its your story, You can do what you want."
You are adorable. I think I'm going to crawl into a corner and cry.
I think my fellow writers can agree with me that we do not always have control over our stories or what are characters do. Sometimes they think they are better than us and laugh at our ideas. They run off and do their own things and get themselves in trouble. Then the whine at you to get them out of it, even though you have no idea how. If you think we always have the ropes you are very, very wrong. And my buddy Jim can vouch for me on this. Characters have a mind of their own, I swear.  
 Do you think I'm right?
Onward!!! Snippet time!!!!!
You don't know how hard it is taking something out of my book that isn't a spoiler. But I tried. I tried really hard. So.... here. I tried to find a good one that wasn't too hugely spoiler-full.
Tyson and Michael didnt stop running until the camp was out of sight. The whole time all Michael wanted to do was turn around and run back. He felt like a coward, running from danger while his friends suffered. Tyson was slowing down, but instead of stopping he took a left and started running up the side of the mountain they had come down the night before. Michael ran along beside him, running pains shooting across his sides, his breath catching in his throat. I hate adventures he thought savagely to himself, all one ever does is run until they drop and then they get up and do it again the moment they have breath enough. It is the worst! He was also wondering why Tyson had decided to run back up the mountain when it had taken so long to get down it in the first place. But Tyson wasnt so much running up as he was running across. They were getting close to the river now, and Tyson changed his course slightly so they would come out just left of the riverbed. His breath was coming out stilted now too, and Michael knew he wasnt the only one running out of energy. Also, now that the adrenalin was beginning to fade, he was starting to feel the loss of sleep and he was slowing down. The river came into view in front of them and Tyson slowed to a stop. He stood for a moment, catching his breath. Michael stumbled up next to him. What now? he panted. Tyson chewed his lip then looked at Michael. Michael didnt like that look. He straightened up, feeling panicked all over again. Tyson, what is it? Who were they? They werent Wardens. That symbol... his words faltered and his panic rose. Tyson, who were they? Do you know them?
I know of them. said Tyson. Theyre called the Quad. They are the law and order of Algorome, and they answer to King John or Jonathan, as he is more properly called. They are like Wardens, only worse. He rubbed his knuckles as he spoke, and that made Michael nervous. How much worse?
Imagine the worst Warden you could possibly think of and then multiply that by as much ruthlessness and disrespect as you can and that is a Quad.
What will they do to the others? asked Michael. Why do they want them?
Tyson raised an eyebrow. Are you an idiot, or have you forgotten, there is a price on your bloody head! There is a price on all your heads! Even without that incentive, we were trespassing and sneaking about in Mighty Johns lands. Were forfeit to his kingdom and his laws. He glared up at the sky, which was quickly filling with dark storm clouds . Why do I always end up in situations like these? he asked, to no one in particular.
So, what? Theyll be taken back to Evinian? Tyson, they cant be! Dimitri and Nightly- they will be killed if theyre found! Peregrine is just a runaway, a rebel. He has a chance. Nightly and Dimitri, they dont. Theyll be hung for treachery!
Yes, I know Michael! No need to repeat the facts to me! Shut up, Im trying to think. Michael feel silent as Tyson paced up and down, fuming and cursing under his breath. He swung his dagger round and round in frustration, throwing it down into the dirt, then retrieving it and fiddling with it again. He muttered. He growled and glared and made some unkind remarks about nobles and their problems. Then finally he stood up.
Alright, listen. Remember how I said Id been to Algarome before? Well, I wasnt completely truthful with you. It wasnt just a visit. I was imprisoned here for a time; no. Dont ask why. Listen! I was able to break out and I think, I think if we are very clever we can break in the same way.
Tyson grinned in bemusement. Every castle has a back door. He said. You just need to know how to open it.

You likey? I know it needs a bit of a polish but I think its pretty good. And its a lead-up to one of my favorite moments. Like, FAVORITE moments. I feel proud of myself, because I've been doing NaNo a little over two weeks now, and I have written thirty thousand words. That's pretty good right??
 I wonder how  many I will have by June 7th.
A quit word before I go. I had an interview today. I think I'm going to get a job. Its a nice job at a mall little sandwich shop. Please pray that I get it. I could really use some money.
That's all peasants! Enjoy you're crown!!! *Slides of Car*
~Ben The Robot~

Thursday, May 22, 2014

I have nothing to post.


This is going to be a quick-quick post cause I have a ton of writing to do tonight. Like a TON.

But I just finished Science for the year. Like just now!!!!!!


Unfortunately that means I haven't even LOOKED at my story today.
Remember what I said. I'm doing lots of writing tonight!! *cackles frantically*

Guys I am so wired right now.

I only have two weeks left of school too. Except Math. I'll have math till sometime later in June, cause I'm behind. But everything else I'll be done with soon. That makes me happy. Very, very happy. I wish I had chocolate. And not Vegan chocolate either.
Also, I didn't get the job at the Paddle Board Shop BUT I was offered a job at this little sandwich place in town. And it sounds like I will probably get it. The lady was really excited to hear from me and I'm hopeful. Please pray!! Money, guys. I'd like money. I don't even have a penny. You have any idea how sad that is for me?? *Frowns*

I have no snippet to share with you tonight. I'm sorry. I just don't have the Oomph to post my writing right now. But I found a new Michael, one who actually LOOKS like Michael.
I'm still looking for the right Tyson though. And I can NOT cast Dimitri and Nightly for the LIFE of me. They are just too different. No one I've seen has been able to capture their appearance. You'll just have to use your imagination. *Grin* But I'll try and give you a snippet tomorrow. I promise. *nervously giggles*

That's all. I told you this was going to be a quick post. :) Peace out y'all. God bless!!

*Sides off car*

 ~Ben The Robot~

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Soldiering through NaNo....

I'm posting my first snippet today!!
I may be a little terrified.

A lot terrified.

This is a lot scarier than I thought it would be.

Just post it!

Shut up Tyson!

How hard is it to post it??

Go away.

I'm just trying to help.

Well you're not.

OKAY!!!! **Shakes out hands**

This snippet comes shortly after the company's meeting with Annemarie.

*Cracks knuckles*

Here it goes. (Oh my gosh, this makes me so, so nervous...)
Michael bit his lip, watching as Peregrine examined the girls leg. The wound seemed to be the result of an arrow, and it was dreadfully deep. He wondered how long she had had it and how she had run on it at all. Carefully Peregrine began to to clean it out, rubbing away the dried blood and dirt from around her ankle. The more of the wound he saw, the less optimistic he felt. "Its deep Perry," Michael said. "I don't know if .... I just don't know." Peregrine continued to his work and didn't look up. "I have to try." he said. "I have to try."
"How long is this going to take," grumbled Tyson.
"As long as needed," Peregrine snapped back. "She's hurt and she needs help. Do you have a problem with that?"
"Only a problem with being caught," said Tyson. "She was running you know. Which means she was being chased. You see the broken shackles around her ankle? She's been a very naughty girl, I'd wager, and I'd rather not be found by her pursuers, if its all the same to you."
"It won't take long to dress this," Michael assured Tyson. "Anyone, we can't just leave her like this." 
"She could be a criminal," Tyson pointed out. 
"Or she could not be." said Peregrine. "And anyway, we're all criminals according to the Wardens."
Tyson snorted. "The last thing we need is another member added to this group. There's too many of us as it is. The more people we lug around the easier it will be to be spotted." Peregrine ignored the pirate. "Do you have any idea who she is?" asked Dimitri. "Did she say anything, before... before she went unconscious?" Peregrine shook his head. "No. She didn't say anything...." He gently rubbed at the cut as he spoke and suddenly, without warning, the girl started awake. Her hand sprung up and grabbed his arm. Her eyes were wild. "What are you doing?" There was panic in her voice and she tried to pull away. She yelped in pain and clutched at her leg.
"Its alright," said Peregrine, trying to calm her, at the same time, cautioning the others not to come forward with a slight shake of his head. "its alright. I'm trying to help." The girl stared at him. Then she reached out and struck him across the face. She stumbled to her feet and tried to run, but her bad leg didn't allow her to go far. She stumbled and he caught her wrist. "Stop! You can't run, you're injured." She pulled  her arm back hard, and this time something caught Peregrine's eyes. He tightened his grip on her wrist and with his other hand he pulled away her sleeve, making sure what he'd seen was true. Then his eyes looked up into hers. She looked back, terrified, knowing he had seen. Softly, so no one else heard, he said, "What are you doing so far from home, child of the dragons?"   
At least its over now.

I felt bad cause I had wanted to post this yesterday, but, GUESS WHAT??? I was way to busy to be posting anything. I had so much school to do it was ridiculous. I hardly got any writing done, so now I'm behind because I also didn't write Sunday. I know!!! That's TWO DAYS without a word count. Or at least a good word count. I felt bad for doing nothing on Sunday, but it was a big family day and we went out to the park and had a picnic and played volleyball and tag, and by the time I got home I was too tired to write. I did try. I think I did like.... maybe a third of a chapter and then I was just like, "Nope." Then today... Today I watched Star Wars. And you know what? I like it. I even clapped and acted ridiculous when Leia said "I love you," and Han said "I know." Like "EEEK! I SHIP IT!!!" I really like Han Solo. He is funny and cool and altogether brilliant. He made me laugh and I wondered why Leia was so mean to him. I am such a freakin' geek!!! *dies* DO NOT JUDGE! Remember, I grew up on Star Trek (and I still enjoy watching those silly Kirk episodes....) so normality was never an option with me. And Anyway, what's wrong with liking Star Wars?

Tyson is poking me, demanding me to finish this chapter, and he's been very patient throughout this post, so I think its only fair I do as he asks. And I do need to try and catch up on some writing. So with a fond farewell I'm off!!!

Han Solo

May the force be with you!*Slides off Car*

~Ben The Robot~

Saturday, May 17, 2014

That's What Best Friends Do

I was going to share a snippet with you tonight but I decided to cheat and wait till tomorrow. Because I have been wanting to do this post since January, but I've never really had the time. Until now. And I have to do it now otherwise I might freak out and not post it because it feels chick-flicky and emotional and I don't usually write this kind of thing.

*Breath* Here it goes.

I've never really had friends. Ever. I mean, sure, there were the kids who used to come over when I was little, but the were more playmates than anything. The type of playmates who hung about for a year, maybe two, than grew up and disappeared. The only friend from my childhood that I actually kept is my best friend, Sammi, who has lived up the street from me since before kindergarten, and whom we have kind of made part of the family, along with her brother and her mom. Besides her, I didn't really have anyone. That's how everyone in my family is. Of course, there are 'Friends of the Family,' and most of my older sisters have that one best friend whom I've always known, but they all live a good few hours away and we don't get to see much of them. And because they are my older sisters friends they are more like.... more older sisters. If you understand me. Until a few years ago Sammi was all I had.

Having no friends never really bothered me. It never occurred to me to be bothered. For me it was normal. I didn't expect friends cause I never thought I needed any. Having a big family helped with that, because there were always people around anyway. So I never felt lonely. (Actually sometimes I felt the opposite.) I never had 'Birthday Parties' in the normal sense, just a couple presents, cake and a movie with the family and Sammi. I never had picnics or anything like that with other kids. Sometimes the neighborhood children would come over and play baseball, but they weren't 'friends' like that. Just kids we knew. Kids who would flit in and out with no names and no lasting time. Even when I was going to Music lessons I never had FRIENDS like that. Sure, people liked me enough and there was even this one girl that I shared a few visits with. But I always felt a little out-of-the-loop. Like I didn't belong. I was always a bit different. First off, I loved to read. I spent a good amount of my time curled up in a ball with a book. Even then, I was crying, laughing, and loving anything to do with the world of fantasy. I easily fell for fictional characters and tried to be like them all the time. As for movies and TV shows.... my family was always a bit geeky, what with my dad watching Star Trek and things like that. So I was brought up rather geeky. (Though it wasn't until later that I became full-fledged obsessive) I tried to make friends a couple times but I suppose everything about me was just too weird. I was Catholic, I was homeschooled, I had a very large family, I wore dresses and I could quote books from beginning to end. I was used to people looking at my funny, thinking I wasn't quite right. I didn't mind it. I was never embarrassed or ashamed of myself or my family, or how I dressed. I figured if the person didn't want to like me it was their loss.

Then a couple years ago I hit a really, really, rough patch in my life. There was a lot of stuff going on at home and for three years of my life nothing felt safe. For a while things got so bad that I kind of shut down and shut the world out. I locked myself up in my room. I buried myself into the world of fiction because, for some reason, fictional trauma was so much easier than real-life trauma. It was during these years that my sisters and I became the wild, obsessive geeks that we are now. We dove into fandoms headlong,  devouring Doctor Who, Sherlock and Merlin like chips. They were our escape and our relief. That's actually why, besides Lord of the Rings, Merlin is my favorite fandom. It introduced me to the rest. I don't actually know if we'd seen any of the Avengers before Merlin. I wasn't allowed to watch Iron Man until just recently (For reasons difficult to explain) and I don't know if I'd scene Captain America yet. But either way, I watched Merlin before I watched almost anything else. It was the first time I found myself so connected, so a part of another world. It brought me a lot of comforts during that time and it holds a lot of precious memories for me. Then FINALLY I started a blog. Most of my older sisters already had one by then, so it didn't seem too terrifying to get one myself. That's when I realized the Internet wasn't full of a bunch of axe murders just waiting to hunt me down and kill me. There were actually a lot of nice people on the Internet. And that really helped me. It helped to fangirl with people as enthusiastic as I was. It was fun to hide away with fictional characters and not face the world. And I wanted to hide. Because I was having a very hard time coping with the situation in my life. I had a lot of self-doubt, anger, frustration and stress. I didn't like anything I did and I didn't think I was good at anything I did. I stopped writing. I stopped singing. I almost stopped acting. If I hadn't loved the stage so much I probably would have stopped. I gave up on friends entirely because, if people had thought I was weird before, Geeky-Me was more than they could handle. Sammi was the only one who wasn't scared away by my insanity, but by then she'd made it clear we were stuck with her and had become more of an adopted sister. So she didn't really count. But after I started blogging all that changed.

First off, there was this really sweet, special girl whose blog I actually followed before getting my own. I remember liking her immediately because she was geeky and nerdy and normal, just like me. She watched all the shows I watched and loved them as much as I did. And she didn't get freaked out when I wrote long comments or randomly quoted or made references. She just quoted back because she was just as geeky as I was. She never got tired of me or acted like I was different. She was like me and I was like her and eventually we started emailing. And after my emails didn't scare her away I thought, just maybe, someone besides my family might actually like me. She is the one who prompted me to start a blog. She is the reason I finally pulled out a pen and started writing again. She is the reason I didn't give up acting, and she is the reason I didn't completely shut down. I owe so much to her. Especially because she was having a bad time too. I think that is some of the reason we got so close. Because we both were having very hard times and suddenly we found each other and just --- BAM!

So I started my blog. And I met a lot of lovely people who liked everything I did, and who understood about TARDIS's and Young Warlocks and dragons and "BORED!" and "FIGHT THE FAIRIES!!!" It was such a shock to find out there were people like me. People who understood. People who laughed and joked and actually took the time to READ my blog in those beginning weeks. (Thank you, you brave little soldiers! I couldn't have done it without you!) After that nothing was the same. I'd discovered a new world, in a way. And it helped me in more ways than I can put down.

I made a resolution back in January to try to move on from those horrible years. To make myself see the world NOW and not THEN. And I've been trying really hard to do just that. But May.... May is a delicate month for me. I have some.... hard memories from the month of May. And because of that its not my favorite time of the year. Actually, I used to hate May. Which was sad, because I love Spring and I always have, and I didn't like hating May. But for some reason I couldn't help it. It wasn't so much that I hated the month. I hated the things that had happened in the month. The things is, I don't want to hate anymore. Because this is the first year in a VERY LONG TIME that I have actually felt happy. Its the first time in a very long time that I've actually felt like myself again. Things are finally better. Maybe not excellent, but better. And sometimes I still struggle, but its nothing like it was. And when my very dear friend said she'd do Camp NaNo with me this month, I realized it was the best thing, really. I wanted to leave behind the all the awfulness. And it seems like filling up a month that has so much BAD attached to it with GOOD, was the perfect way to start.

That sounded totally cheesy, but whatever.

I guess I just really want to say thank you. Thank you to all you amazing bloggers who welcomed me like family and who followed and commented and made my day by dropping by. I want to thank my sisters who listened to me yell or vent, or were just there for me when I need them. I want to thank Sammi, who stuck with me through all of it, even on the worst days, and who somehow made me smile when all I wanted to do was cry. And most of all I want to thank that one special girl who told me: "YOU CAN DO IT!" and hasn't stopped saying that since. I want that girl to know she is my best friend. I want her to know I love her like she is my sister, and I wish she was. I want her to know she is the Merlin to my Arthur, the Sam to my Dean, the Clara to my Eleven, the Bucky to my Steve and, above all, the Jim to my Ben. I want her to know she has helped me more than she could ever, possibly know. I want her to know that I love every one of her quirks and it is because of them that she is so cool. And I want her to know how much she means to me and that I'm with her till the end of the line.

Thank you. Its been a wonderful year on blogger,
and I hope there are many more.


Here you go. A song reflecting all the greatest friendships. 
It makes me feel so happy inside *grin*

Now I have to go back to editing and crying over Tyson. And Peregrine. I will try to share a snippet tomorrow, I promise! I the meantime, here. Have a Bucky and Steve video. I made it. And I think I do quite a good job, if I do say so myself. If its really quiet for you, try using headphones - otherwise it should be okay :)
  God bless and have a lovely night! *Slides off Car*

~Ben The Robot~

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

"Thousands of Answers to One Simple Question, Open the Sky for Me Now..."


I'm not sure where this gif came from. But it greatly reflects my present mood. Writing should never hurt this much. But it does. And you know what? I HATE traitors.

 I've been editing too long. *crosses eyes*
I been tagged by Jack!. Tagged!!! Tagged. TagGEd. TAgged. TAGGEd. TAgGeD. Yep. Tagged. I'm taking a break from my very important story to accept this tag, so pay attention.

 I'm not sure what tag it IS, but I think its the Liebster one again, 'cause you have to do 11 facts and  answer 11 questions and MAKE 11 questions... the usual. Which is, ya' know.....


I am going to try and do my Eleven Facts without being annoying and witty. Lets see how that goes...
1. I am trying to do Camp NaNo and going crazy.
2. I have cried over my own writing.
3. I act compulsively. And I form a very deep connection with my character.
4. I love finishing a really good book but I hate finishing the last book of a great series.
5. I am still suffering from BUCKY!!! feels. 
6. I hate Vegan Chocolate. I want it burnt. And then I want it crushed and burnt again.
7. I love Steve Rodgers and I think he is a very under-rated Avenger.
8. I like soft, fluffy pillows.
9. I think chocolate cake with vanilla icing is DELICIOUS
10. I'm trying to make a music video for Steve and Bucky.
11. I'm stuck trying to write this one chapter in my book and its making me mad. 

Now the questions from Jack!! (LalaLala!)

1. How do you feel about main character deaths?
I don't like them. Unless they are done REALLY well and even then I don't like them. They are upsetting and horrible. I HATE it when Authors kill of the main character. I also hate it when they kill off best friends and brothers. But I especially hate Main Character deaths. Don't do it.

 2. What does TADA! mean to you?

 3. If I walked up to you and yelled, or whispered, HAIL HYDRA! What would you do?
.......I would be really sad, first of all. (Jack, how COULD you?) then I'd probably smack you. Or hit you. Or kill you. I might kill you. I feel in a killing mood right now.

 4. If I gave you a pet duck would you take him for a walk in the park?
I don't know. If its a very nice duck I might.

 5. What was the last book you read that had you either crying, laughing, ready to fall out of your seat, forget how to breathe, or all of the above?
The Shadow Throne!!! I am TOTALLY doing a review on that book! It has given me so many feels! I couldn't have coped if I hadn't had a very nice friend to fangirl and yell with on chat. She has been very nice to me with that. She yells back and that is very helpful. 

 6. You would come to a sleep over? We could make a tent out of blankets and sleep on couch cushions thrown on the floor.
I would definitely come to a sleep over!! We could have Icecream and watch The Winter Soldier and cry and scream and then we could yell about Jaron and scream some more because.... TOBIAS!!!! MOTT!!!!!! IMOGEN!!!!! RODEN!!!!

 7. What was the last song you listened to on repeat over and over?
You've got me Down on my Knees
But now I'm trying to Get Up.
You have Torn me Apart, Piece by Ppiece
And now I'm begging You to Stop!
In the mirror I see, You're staring back at me;
I am My Own Worst Enemy!!!!

 8. What was the last movie you saw that... gave you the same emotions I asked about with the book?
The Winter Soldier

It has been more than Four weeks and I am still not over the second Captain America. Do I have a problem? Yes. I have a very serious problem.

 9. Do you think reindeer are better than people?
No. (sorry Kristoff) My best friends are all people *smile*

 10. How do you feel about the giant rats of Somalia?
ROUS's? I don't believe they exist.

 11. When you were a kid did you used to play Cowboys and Indians? (Germans. I mean Cowboys and Germans.) (PLEASE tell me someone got that reference.)
.... Is this a WWII thing? I think it is. During the war didn't boys used to play Cowboys and Germans instead of Cowboys and Indians?? .... But I don't know if that is the reference you wanted me to get. If it isn't, then I'm sorry. I failed you. Does this make us even?

My Questions

1.) If you had a choice would you visit Rivendell or the Shire?
2.) Have you read The Ascendance Trilogy?
3.) Do you tend to like the Villain BETTER than the hero? (This means in everything, mind you)
4.) Are you a Tolkien Purist?
5) Are you a Marvel fan or just an Avengers fan?
6.) What book are you reading RIGHT NOW, and is it good?
7.) What is the first thing that comes to mind when think of trains?
8.) Have you ever had Vegan Chocolate? (If not, don't. DO NOT EVER)
9.) Have you ever cried in the Theatre?
10.) Would you go shopping with me dressed as your favorite Avenger?
11.) Do you think Frozen is overrated?

I know I'm suppose to tag eleven people, but I've already done this whole "Award thing" two or three times now and I feel REALLY BAD re-tagging people. So I'll do five (One of whom is a geek and JUST got a blog  because some of us joined together and yelled at her to get one)


You are not DUTY BOUND to accept this tag. I will not mope or pout if you quietly forget about it.

With that I'm away!!! *Slides off car*

~Ben The Robot~

Saturday, May 10, 2014

I haven't done any editing today

This means, of course, that I am going to have to do a LOT of editing tonight. I'll be up late typing away like a crazed writer who has nothing else to do but pay attention to her characters.

But I do have a valid reason for slacking today. Even my partner in Camp NaNo agreed is was a good excuse.




Finally, after weeks and week of waiting The Runaway King finally came in! I could finally read what happens to Sage after... well after THAT. And it was worth the wait. Because the book was amazing. I was so happy to have it that I read the first half last night and the rest this morning. Then I picked up book three and just kept reading until I was finished with it. *SPOILERS AHEAD*

I really, really love Jaron. and I'm probably going to do a proper review on both these books, but for now I'm just going to say they were the most satifying reads I've had in a while. I love each of the characters. I even liked characters I never thought I would. And I got unexpected friendship stories and love stories and adventure and it was brilliant!!!! I definitely recommend them to anyone with time and a thirst for adventure. And I thank my friend for showing them to me.

Now I can finish The Gallagher Girls and try not to freak out over Preston or Zack too much. And try not to think anything bad is going to happen to Liz. Because why should it?

I now have a whole line of books lined up to read. I want to read a series which appears to be a type of Wild West with Magic. I want to read "Sorcery and Cecilia" I want to re-read all the Howl books, including "Castle In the Air" which I have never actually read. But I might wait until after NaNo to read any of these.... cause I really need to finish my book.

My book. Yes, its coming along. Tyson isn't so bad now, though he still irks me. I think he is a twerp and infuriating. But he isn't all bad. I'm not ready to release a proper snippet yet, but I hope to in a few days. Please remember this is the rough draft and not the finish product, and also the first book I've actually FELT like finishing. Its the first time I've taken the time to think, "This is how it should be. This is what's going to happen. This is how it will all end." So many of my stories have failed because I didn't have an exact plan. My stories are usually just a bunch of characters who do nothing all day. But this time my characters came together and made a plot. They have motives and needs. They actually need to get from point A to point B and that is a big step in the right direction for me. It also helps that I really care about my characters. Except the villains. My antagonist isn't so great either.

Another reason I haven't done much editing yesterday or today... (cringes) I stayed the night at my sisters house last night and put down my story to watch a movie with popcorn and M&M's. These were delicious of course, because, well, you can't go wrong with Popcorn and M&M's. The movie, on the other hand, was not so grand. In fact it was really quite dreadful. I will tell you the name of it so you know to avoid it. Its called Run. It has William Mosley in it. And he was basically the only good actor in the whole film. Him and his dad. And there was one other kid who was okay. But the girlfriend was obnoxious. Super obnoxious. Everything I hate in annoying female characters. And she wasn't a great actress either. The whole movie was slow. The trailer made it seem like this epic chase movie with lots of chasing and parkering and the Moffia. But it wasn't like that. It was slow. And boring. And silly. And I kept laughing at all the wrong times. Times that should have been sad but weren't. Amy and Treskie were laughing too. And for some reason all of us laughing increased the hilarity and just made us laugh more.

It was a terrible movie. Avoid it. Its not worth watching.

May must be the month for stories. A few days ago a genie named Archimedes walked up to me and demanded I write his story. He brought his friend Eric along, which makes me think its going to be a friendship story. Maybe even a brother-friendship story. Which is good. I'll try not to kill anyone this time around. But I told them both they'd just have to be patient because I'm trying to tell someone elses story at the present, as well as finish school. That made them pout but I think they can wait. They seem to be good at that. Though I wouldn't call it waiting so much as lurking. On my bed. and poking me when I try to sleep. Which I really do not need because I already have Tyson and Peregrine doing that to me. I really don't need to more characters from a DIFFERENT story pestering me. I swear, its like characters think all we writers have time to do is tell their stories!! What about life?? What about Jaron?? He NEEDED me. I can't give all my time to them!

I hope to share a better NaNo update soon. I'm really going to try and finish this.... Please wish me luck! Its much appreciated.

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~Ben The Robot~

Pile of good things

Pile of good things